How to help your child through the pain of giving up a pacifier
I recently listened to the old Neil Sadaka song “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”. It reminded me of my children’s first big breakup. Yes, you guessed it…giving up the pacifier. Just look at the lyrics from the first part of the song and see if you don’t agree:
“Don’t take your love away from me
Don’t you leave my heart in misery
If you go then I’ll be blue
‘Cause breaking up is hard to do.”
That pretty much sums up how my children viewed their beloved paci. Any attempt to take it away resulted in fits of misery and crying until they turned blue. What was a “good” mom like me to supposed to do to help them kick the paci habit?
For about a month, I kept putting off the whole giving up the pacifier discussion. I didn’t want to be the one to break their little hearts. In my mind, there had to be a way to make giving up a pacifier feel more like a rite of passage rather than a form of punishment.
Four Ways to Ease Your Child’s Pain When Giving up a Pacifier
After spending hours researching this whole topic of giving up the pacifier online, I was completely frustrated. I couldn’t find any solution that made giving up a pacifier a loving experience my child and I could enjoy together.
That’s when I decided to experiment and create a system that I could feel good about. Here are five of the key concepts I incorporated into what I affectionately referred to as: Operation Giving Up Pacifier.
1) Celebrate Giving Up The Pacifier Like A Holiday.
Kids love parties. Don’t we all? So, make the entire process of giving up the pacifier feel like a holiday.
2) Build Anticipation As You Count Down The Days to Giving Up The Pacifier
Going cold turkey is not a good idea. You need to allow your child some time to process this whole idea of giving up their pacifier. What I found to work the best was doing it over a period of 7 days.
3) Make Giving Up The Pacifier A Rite Of Passage For Your Child
On day 1, tell your child that they are becoming a BIG kid. And help them make the connection that part of becoming big is acting like a grown up. Make it funny and humorous. Talk about how Mommy and Daddy don’t use a pacifier any more, or mention an older brother or sister. Communicate this concept throughout the day whenever it fits and especially at night before they go to sleep.
4) Limit Use When Giving Up A Pacifier
It’s a good idea to search through your house and collect all the extra pacifiers you might have lying around. Be sure to check under beds, in toy boxes and in any other secret hiding places your child might have. Let your child use their favorite pacifier, but start limiting their use of it to only during naps and at bedtime.
Giving up a pacifier is not easy for most children. But, if you follow these four suggestions, it will help to ease the pain of change and hopefully make breaking up a little easier.
Michelle Spitzer
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